An open letter to my wife on our first anniversary

Posted on September 16, 2011 by


My Dearest Lady Sophia,

It’s been a year. Can you believe that? As of today you and I have officially been man and wife for a year. For me, that’s cause both for joy and introspection.

Joy. Joy because being married to you has been God’s kindest gift to me, save only Himself. Joy because of all the truly happy times that we’ve had together. Joy because of the sorrows we’ve already begun to share as we link arms and travel down this road of life. Joy because of the sheer privilege that it is to know you deeply and to be known by you.

Ours is far more than a physical union. I think this must become more-so the longer you are married. When you get married, I think you are more in love with an idea than you are with the person. And this is okay – so long as it doesn’t stay there. And then, for the past year, you’ve had to learn to trust me, and I’ve had to learn to make myself vulnerable to you. You’ve seen my faults and my struggles, and I’ve seen your insecurities and weaknesses. And we’ve both learned what our expectations were for marriage and which ones were right and which ones were wrong.

Yet I know, looking at people like our parents, with a solid sixty years of marriage between them, that we’ve only begun to scratch the surface. I find that fact both exciting and overwhelming at the same moment.

“Soul-mates.” That’s the word. That’s what we are becoming, and will continue becoming.

Introspection. Introspection because marriage has taught me so much more about God than I had ever expected. It’s as if God said, “Here, let’s give Richard a constant reminder of my jealousy for Him, his constant need for intimacy with me, and my deep love and provision for him.” And so he created marriage. And every moment I am jealous of your time and affections I am reminded of God’s jealousy for mine. Every time you need to talk to have your heart heard and known on the deepest level, I am reminded of the burdens that I should be casting upon Him. Every time you praise me for providing well for your needs, I am reminded of God’s constant and perfect provision for me.

My love, my hope and prayer for the coming year is threefold.

First, I pray that the Lord would draw me closer to Him and make me a more humble, more loving leader than I currently am. Pride is something with which I struggle constantly, but it has no place within the marriage relationship. There is only room for humility and openness.

Second, I pray that the Lord would draw you closer to Him. I am daily challenged and gladdened by your consistent commitment to Scripture memory and spending time with God each day, and I pray that whatever the challenges or new scheduling hurdles that we face in the coming year of marriage, that you would not abandon these things. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have on my team than a praying wife who loves her Bible.

Third, I pray that in God’s own time and in His own plan that He would send us a child, both to glorify Himself and to heal the aching that has been left in our hearts by the loss of Christian. Children are a precious, precious blessing from God and I pray that if it be His will that He will see fit to bless us in that way.

Now my love, I hope you are as excited about the coming year as I am, and I take great comfort in knowing that whatever uncertainty the future may hold, God has ordained that for now you and I should walk this road together.

Sophie – I love you, I love you, I love you.

Your Mr. Man,